Image Description: Pink and red heart shaped confetti rains down from above
Happy Black History Month, Groundhog Day and Valentine's Day!
It's been a long cold winter for those of us in the Northwest hemisphere, so here's a newsletter jam-packed with what's been keeping us busy indoors.
RECENT:
Junior League Event
Thank you once again to our community partner Junior League of Cincinnati for volunteering their time this winter to make cards!
Our Founder, Alyson Wick recently attended their General Membership Meeting and participated in a question and answer panel alongside some other amazing organizations in Cincinnati, including, but not limited to The Women's Fund, Bethany House and Our Daily Bread.
During their evening volunteer hour, members created over 50 cards for Survivor Cards to distribute, which will be mailed to individuals, and gifted to Henderson House and The Center for Family Safety and Healing.
We are so thankful for our community partners who ensure we can always meet survivor's needs!
Want to get involved? Email survivorcards@gmail.com
Girl Scout Programs
Thank you to Girl Scouts of Southwestern Ohio for continuing to partner with us in 2024!
We have had a blast coming to the council and visiting troops around Cincinnati, with our free, youth curriculum on trauma and being a good neighbor.
Most recently, we visited Girl Scout Troop 4383 in Lebanon. The girls learned about coping skills, trauma, toxic positivity, and how to help themselves or a friend get help for traumatic experiences.
The girls then created Survivor Cards and had conversations about improving community mental health. We also recently did a Zoom call with council employees so they could learn more about our programs and services, and create cards themselves!
Card Drives
Thank you to all our volunteers who have written cards over the last few months!
Together we are sending 100 cards to the The Center for Family Safety and Healing and 20 to Henderson House!
The Center for Family Safety and Healing, based in Columbus, Ohio fully addresses all aspects of family violence, including child abuse and neglect, teen dating abuse, domestic violence and elder abuse, thanks to an impressive combination of public and private resources.
While Henderson House, in McMinnville, Oregon advocates provide domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking, and human/sex trafficking response and advocacy, crisis intervention, operate a 24-hour crisis line, coordinate wrap-around service referrals, facilitate support groups, and provide these services in both English and Spanish.
We are happy to provide cards to both of these organizations for a second time!
Do you know an individual or organization that could use our cards?
Email Alyson at survivorcards@gmail.com
You CAN nominate yourself and you can remain anonymous.
ONGOING:
Clermont County Juvenile Detention Center Card Drive
Join Diversity Book Fairies of Cincinnati in collecting used and new paperback books for the youth at Clermont County Juvenile Detention Center!
Youth in detention centers often have low literacy, meaning they struggle with basic reading and writing, significantly impacting their ability to succeed upon release.
This issue is considered a major issue, as it can result in recidivism. There is a strong correlation between poor literacy skills and involvement in criminal behavior.
Oftentimes, children and young adults break laws due to lack of resources and out of necessity.
We can bridge the gap by providing diverse books in settings like these!
Suggested titles include, but are not limited to:
The Twilight Series
The Diary of a Wimpy Kid series
Bad Guys series
Stephen King novels
Tyrell & Bronxwood books
The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane
Educated
The Zeldra Graphic Novels
The Attack on Titan Novels
Visit our Amazon wish list here.
or our BookShop.org wish list here.
(Every purchase on BookShop.org financially supports local independent bookstores!)
Need books? Have books? Either way, get in touch!
Email diversitybookfairiescincy@gmail.com or text Alyson at 567-303-2275
Black-Owned Businesses
This year, to celebrate Black History, Survivor Cards' Founder is shouting out her favorite Black-owned, local businesses near our headquarters here in Cincinnati, Ohio!
Coming to the city? Check these out!
Sweet & Meats BBQ - Established in 2014 by co-founders Kristen Bailey and Anton Gaffney, Sweets & Meats BBQ is a certified woman-owned business established in Cincinnati, Ohio. Our passion for both our craft and community drives us to serve award-winning smoked meats, homemade sides, and desserts using cherished family recipes.
Originalitees - Originalitees is a locally owned and operated clothing line that specializes in state, city and neighborhood pride apparel. Originalitees creates original designs. Our brand is proof that quality, comfort, affordability and style aren’t mutually exclusive.
Black Coffee Lounge - Specialty Coffee Shop inspired by HipHop and Community. Cincinnati's Number 1 Coffee Shop For Culture.
Creamalicious - Each flavor of ice-cream takes you to a place reminiscent of the comfort of family. Whether it’s exchanging a smile with your aunt as she makes fresh pies; seeing your uncle adjust his hat like the coolest man alive; or just playing outside until the street lights come on; each recipe has a story of its own that is steeped in the good ole’ days.
Taste of Boujie - Artfully curated platters, showcasing a thoughtfully selected variety of foods. Components include premium meats and cheeses; fruits; vegetables; artisan crackers and breads; gourmet sweets; and jams, jellies or dips, each carefully scrutinized, ensuring the luxurious products we deliver to you provide complete satisfaction
Davis Cookie Collection - Gourmet desserts, handmade from scratch for all ages to Bite Into A Better Day!
Setting Boundaries, Recognizing Red Flags, and Creating a Safety Plan
Relationships—whether romantic or platonic—require mutual respect, trust, and boundaries. However, setting boundaries can be challenging, especially if you’ve experienced relationships where those weren’t honored. This month, we’re focusing on empowering you to recognize red flags, set and maintain boundaries, and leave unsafe situations. Below, we’ve included a checklist, local resources, and a fillable safety plan to guide you or someone you love toward safety and healing.
Setting Boundaries in Relationships
Boundaries are the foundation of respectful and healthy relationships. They protect your physical and emotional well-being while ensuring that everyone understands what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Here are some practical steps:
Romantic Relationships
Communicate clearly: Use "I" statements to express your needs. For example, “I need time to myself when I’m feeling overwhelmed.”
Enforce boundaries consistently: If a partner disregards a boundary, calmly but firmly remind them.
Know your deal breakers: Identify non-negotiables, like disrespect, dishonesty, or controlling behavior.
Friendships
Speak up early: Address minor boundary violations before they escalate.
Be honest about capacity: It’s okay to say no to plans or favors if you’re feeling drained.
Evaluate reciprocity: Healthy friendships should feel balanced in effort and emotional support.
Recognizing Red Flags
Sometimes, it’s hard to identify when a relationship turns unhealthy or abusive. Here are some red flags to watch for in romantic or platonic relationships:
Emotional Abuse
Constant criticism or belittling.
Gaslighting or making you doubt your perceptions.
Controlling who you see, what you do, or how you spend money.
Physical or Sexual Abuse
Physical harm or threats of harm.
Pressuring or forcing you into unwanted physical or sexual activity.
Isolation
Discouraging or sabotaging relationships with family and friends.
Monitoring your phone, emails, or whereabouts.
If you’re noticing these behaviors, it may be time to take steps toward safety.
How to Leave Safely
Leaving an unsafe relationship requires careful planning to protect yourself and anyone else involved. Follow these steps:
Checklist of Important Items
Identification: Driver’s license, passport, birth certificates for you and your children.
Money: Cash, credit/debit cards, checkbook.
Keys: House, car, storage units.
Essential Documents: Medical records, legal papers (e.g., custody agreements, restraining orders).
Medications: At least a week’s supply.
Clothing and Essentials: For you and your children.
Emergency Contacts: Written list in case your phone is inaccessible.
Sentimental Items: Small, irreplaceable keepsakes.
Creating a Safety Plan
A safety plan is a personalized, practical plan that helps you avoid dangerous situations and know how to react if you’re in danger. Below is a basic outline you can fill out:
Safety Plan Template
Step 1: Trusted Contacts
Safe friend or family member to call: Name: ____________________________
Phone: ____________________________
Police or emergency services:
Local Non-Emergency Number: ____________________________
Address of nearest police station: ____________________________
Step 2: Safe Places to Stay
Hotel or shelter: Name: ____________________________
Phone: ____________________________
Address: ____________________________
Backup safe place: Name: ____________________________
Address: ____________________________
Step 3: Communication Safety
Code word for help with trusted contacts: ____________________________
New phone or temporary number: ____________________________
Step 4: Transportation Plan
Driver or transportation service to contact: ____________________________
Emergency transportation funds available? (Y/N): _____________________
Step 5: Emergency Bag Location
Where you will keep your packed bag: ____________________________
Local Resources in Cincinnati
YWCA Greater Cincinnati Domestic Violence Hotline: 513-872-9259
Women Helping Women Crisis Hotline: 513-381-5610
Cincinnati Police Department Victim Services: 513-352-6474
The Anna Louise Inn (emergency housing): 513-421-5211
Lighthouse Youth & Family Services (teen resources): 513-221-3350
Legal Aid Society of Greater Cincinnati: 513-241-9400
National Resources
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text “START” to 88788.
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Building healthy relationships starts with setting boundaries and recognizing when something isn’t right. If you’re in an unsafe situation, remember: you are not alone. There are people and resources ready to support you every step of the way. Share this information with those who might need it, and together, let’s foster a safer, more supportive community!
For more tools and updates, visit us at www.survivorcards.org
Building Meaningful Connections With Your Kids
"I often hear adults tell me that “talking to my kid is hard” or “I just can’t seem to connect”. And just as often, the conversation swings the other way: “they’re just blowing this out of proportion” or “it’s just not that big of a deal”. I’d invite you to look at a time in your recent past that felt bigger than you knew how to handle. Maybe it’s preparing for tax season. Or election time. Or your boss demanded more of you than you had to give, and then you got reprimanded when you couldn’t complete it as expected. Or maybe when you got sick and felt so poorly that you didn’t accomplish more than sleeping and recovering.
You can’t heal the things you were never permitted to feel. Those feelings of shame, embarrassment, sadness, anxiousness or even bigger and deeper emotions make us human. That doesn’t mean they’re “comfortable” by any means, but they make us who we are, just as much as pride, love, compassion and joy. Sometimes adults forget what it was like to feel teenaged, with everything feeling like the biggest moment of your life. And that’s a shame. Remember what summer nights felt like, going to see friends with the windows rolled down? Or how it felt when that one person you were completely enamored with turned you down?
At the time, these things were as important as breathing. It is only with continued life experiences that we learn how much we are capable of. This happens at every stage. A five year old who absolutely collapses in the store because they were told “we’re not getting that toy” doesn’t seem like a big deal to a twelve year old. A pre-teen getting their first period and having to tie a sweatshirt around their waist doesn’t seem like a big deal to a high school junior applying to colleges. So how do we connect? I’ve found that the bar is actually pretty low.
What do you need when you don’t feel good? A snack? A drink? Something comforting? Maybe it’s hot chocolate and a fuzzy blanket. Or a movie and a box of tissues. Or going for a jog and then a hot shower. Teens are much the same. In my time as a child and adolescent therapist, the biggest impact moments were the ones in which I gave someone the option to have a snack and access to whatever made them feel better.
For example: I had an impromptu session with a male teenager, who came to my office at the request of a different adult who told me “keep him out of trouble”. I asked if he wanted to talk, he declined. I pointed to the counter and said “you’re welcome to a snack and a drink if you’d like”. And didn’t press further. He got up a grabbed one of each, then asked if he could use some of the fidgets/toys I had lined up. I nodded and he sat back down and put his headphones in, playing with the things he grabbed. And after a few minutes-without me saying anything at all-he unplugged and started talking about what had happened. He came to my office willingly after that.
The moral if this story isn’t that you are guaranteed success if you provide snacks and toys. It wasn’t about that at all. I let him get comfortable with the idea of being there. And I kept my word. I provided a place that didn’t demand anything of someone who couldn’t give it. I just sat there, ready for the time to arrive, but prepared for it to not happen. No one wants to talk when all they feel is confronted by anger and demands. But if you let people know that you’re there-and then back that up with your actions-they’ll take you up on it nearly every time."
-Michelle Brewer-Bunnell, LISW & Survivor Cards' Treasurer
As always, thank you for reading and being here! Here's to a wonderful month ahead!
If you'd like to receive these bi-monthly communications straight to your email, simply visit our website, scroll to the bottom and enter your e-mail address! If you'd like to get in touch, please email us at survivorcards@gmail.com
-Alyson Wick, Founder of Survivor Cards, Hot Girls Walking and Diversity Book Fairies of Cincinnati
(Individual, Self or Organization)
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